I have too many thoughts in my head

Hi there. I'm back. Again. It's been a while. Been busy living. . .

All these winding roads and labyrinths we have to get lost in. I have started all over again and again and again. Two years ago I started traveling the world alone. I visited Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, Burma, Malaysia, Norway again, back to Thailand, and now suddenly I find myself relocated in a small British country town. THIS IS ENGLAND. I now face new daily challenges like two separate water taps on almost every sink (one where you burn your hand off and one where you freeze) and other small unimportant things we Scandinavians find funny or interesting when traveling beyond our own borders. I am not taking the piss, I am happy to say that I do not have too many worries at the moment. I am fighting nightmares and old ghosts though, but I know when the winter is over there will be a new spring. I know like all the billion buds will flower I will eventually blossom as well. It will take time. Time to create a new perception of the world we’re all so confused and living in. The past years I have spent so much time running away from my old life I almost forgot to live now. Always holding my guard, looking back over my shoulder. I am so fed up with being afraid all the time. Sun is shining outside my window, yet I only stare out at it, not yet capable of moving my sad lazy ass out there to enjoy it. Lazy, that’s what depression makes you. I don’t even feel sad, but I know it’s lurking behind there somewhere.

It is strange being a foreigner in a country so similar yet so undeniably different from your own. I feel like I’m lost in translation half the time. But this is the place I want to be. I have decided to make a new life here for the time being… Forever lost. I never expected to end up here. Strange, how life twists and turns sometimes. Life is slowly adapting and changing for the better. I have met so many beautiful and inspirational souls the past years of traveling I almost find it hard to memorize them all. I sit here with a heart heavy with gratitude. We have so much to learn from each other, by absorbing new scenery’s, by drinking wine, passing joints and making conversation. In this western world I feel like everyone is striving inside their own bubbles. Their own self constructed universes displayed on screens, shining with glorified pictures of the life we hope so eagerly the rest of world will remember us for…

Alien, that’s the word I’m looking for. Alienation. Hibernation. I know there are others with the same kind of mindset. It will just take some time. I will crawl out of my hole. Did I mention that I have already started? One third, at least! I work as a drama teacher for year 5 and 6 at a school once a week. KARMA. WIN. HARD WORK PAYS IN HAPPINESS. Now all I need to do is convince them to pay me some actual pounds as well. It still feels good to do what I love the most. Working with kids and theatre make me think good things of the world.

I am still traveling. Still it feels just like yesterday I left Gardermoen Airport in Oslo, heading in direction Heathrow – Hong Kong – Brisbane. I left everything I knew behind. And I haven’t looked back since. Maybe, that is only half way a lie. As far as home is concerned, I cling to the ones I love and see them on Skype whenever we feel it’s been far too long. I didn’t post much when I was exploring South-East Asia. But, some scribbles made it to the world-wide web.

I became a part of a marine conservation group (Eco Koh Tao) when I was living as a PADI divemaster in Thailand. I wrote some articles during my Eco Internship at Crystal Dive: Project AWARE – Eco Koh Tao – Mooring Line Project –  Reef Check Ecodiver Course. Feel free to have a look.

It’s late afternoon. Time to force myself to go outside. Sun is shining. Put my shades on. I will update more later I promise.

Tunes: Listening to Skambankt – Voodoo. I’m sorry if Norwegian is a bit tough to understand, but this song describes all the thoughts in my head right now. It just makes sense. Listen to the tune anyway, they don’t only have real lyrics they also got bad ass guitars.

 

Love and light, Kris xx xx