I have too many thoughts in my head

Hi there. I'm back. Again. It's been a while. Been busy living. . .

All these winding roads and labyrinths we have to get lost in. I have started all over again and again and again. Two years ago I started traveling the world alone. I visited Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, Burma, Malaysia, Norway again, back to Thailand, and now suddenly I find myself relocated in a small British country town. THIS IS ENGLAND. I now face new daily challenges like two separate water taps on almost every sink (one where you burn your hand off and one where you freeze) and other small unimportant things we Scandinavians find funny or interesting when traveling beyond our own borders. I am not taking the piss, I am happy to say that I do not have too many worries at the moment. I am fighting nightmares and old ghosts though, but I know when the winter is over there will be a new spring. I know like all the billion buds will flower I will eventually blossom as well. It will take time. Time to create a new perception of the world we’re all so confused and living in. The past years I have spent so much time running away from my old life I almost forgot to live now. Always holding my guard, looking back over my shoulder. I am so fed up with being afraid all the time. Sun is shining outside my window, yet I only stare out at it, not yet capable of moving my sad lazy ass out there to enjoy it. Lazy, that’s what depression makes you. I don’t even feel sad, but I know it’s lurking behind there somewhere.

It is strange being a foreigner in a country so similar yet so undeniably different from your own. I feel like I’m lost in translation half the time. But this is the place I want to be. I have decided to make a new life here for the time being… Forever lost. I never expected to end up here. Strange, how life twists and turns sometimes. Life is slowly adapting and changing for the better. I have met so many beautiful and inspirational souls the past years of traveling I almost find it hard to memorize them all. I sit here with a heart heavy with gratitude. We have so much to learn from each other, by absorbing new scenery’s, by drinking wine, passing joints and making conversation. In this western world I feel like everyone is striving inside their own bubbles. Their own self constructed universes displayed on screens, shining with glorified pictures of the life we hope so eagerly the rest of world will remember us for…

Alien, that’s the word I’m looking for. Alienation. Hibernation. I know there are others with the same kind of mindset. It will just take some time. I will crawl out of my hole. Did I mention that I have already started? One third, at least! I work as a drama teacher for year 5 and 6 at a school once a week. KARMA. WIN. HARD WORK PAYS IN HAPPINESS. Now all I need to do is convince them to pay me some actual pounds as well. It still feels good to do what I love the most. Working with kids and theatre make me think good things of the world.

I am still traveling. Still it feels just like yesterday I left Gardermoen Airport in Oslo, heading in direction Heathrow – Hong Kong – Brisbane. I left everything I knew behind. And I haven’t looked back since. Maybe, that is only half way a lie. As far as home is concerned, I cling to the ones I love and see them on Skype whenever we feel it’s been far too long. I didn’t post much when I was exploring South-East Asia. But, some scribbles made it to the world-wide web.

I became a part of a marine conservation group (Eco Koh Tao) when I was living as a PADI divemaster in Thailand. I wrote some articles during my Eco Internship at Crystal Dive: Project AWARE – Eco Koh Tao – Mooring Line Project –  Reef Check Ecodiver Course. Feel free to have a look.

It’s late afternoon. Time to force myself to go outside. Sun is shining. Put my shades on. I will update more later I promise.

Tunes: Listening to Skambankt – Voodoo. I’m sorry if Norwegian is a bit tough to understand, but this song describes all the thoughts in my head right now. It just makes sense. Listen to the tune anyway, they don’t only have real lyrics they also got bad ass guitars.

 

Love and light, Kris xx xx

Turn over a new leaf

Due to an awful lot of stress, and horrible internet connection I haven’t had the patience to blog lately. But now I’m back, and there’s been a change in status; I’m finally on the move! The butterflies in my stomach have got an extra set of wings. My temper is jojo-ing like a roller coaster from calm and relaxed to hysterical and back, and recently I’ve become an check-list-maniac. Chronic absent-mindedness. Focus is this week’s goal. Monday, and my backpacker sack (I’ve finally found one!) must be inhabited, and ready for take off. First stop Volda, then Asker-Oslo. September 3rd the flight leaves 0755 from Gardermoen -> Heathrow -> Hong Kong -> BRISBANE. If I’d say that I’m anything else than euphoric, it would be a lie.

Third day of vacation. This week I find myself living in my family’s new house in Tomrefjorden, which is a little fjord below high mountains, far out on the Norwegian country side. Just had my grandmother over for a cup of coffee. Her visit did me good. Haven’t seen her beautiful face for a long, long time. She had so many clever words of wisdom to share. The last ten years I’ve been lost in a turmoil. She told me that it’s time for some action. A stern look she gave me. -You should NOT look back, she said. -Never!

She made me realize more than ever that life happens, now, as I’m writing these words. I have to gain control. Nobody will ever do it for me. Have to stop worrying ’bout other peoples opinions. I’m 22 years old, and up till now this has been a very tricky point for me to figure out. Been rooted to the spot. Haunted by ghosts from my previous life. Chapter closed. I’ll burn it all all down to ashes. Now is the time to die and start a new life. Metaphorically of course. Like the phoenix I will spread my wings and fly away. I’ll be the queen of my castle. I’ve finally gained the knowledge. Life goes on. I’ll keep her words close at heart. We sure cannot be all things to all men. I’m one step closer to Australia and Vietnam. One step closer to the person I wanna be. -Happy and free from misery! Big smile on my face today. I’ll share it with you guys. Love K.

A nimble mind. Wide awake. I gaze at the world as my feet take me further. 
Clearly, I can see now. One step, then two steps at the time. Free from the 
chains in my mind. One step closer. I can feel it now. Erasing all negativity. 
Fed up with this stupidity. Self loathing is a curse. Constantly looking back 
over my shoulder - just makes it worse. Heading now the opposite direction. 
Took me a time to understand. I see a new wave is coming ashore the land.

TUNEZ TODAY: Fiona Apple – Regret, Every Single Night, Daredevil, Hot Knife.

Stiff nipples

Asphalt dried up – yesterday it was raining cats and dogs. Sunshine through my window. Got up 0630am. Early shift. Longboarding – before, and after work. Again. Good day. Yeah. It really is a good day. Loving it. I’m smiling. Though my back is killing me, and my stomach is crying like a baby. Going to hang out with a friend of mine, Tonje, at play area/park named Årneset. It’s a big green area beside the mystic dark lake named Rotevatnet. We plan to do nothing. Perfect. Last night I played my first game of chess against Marius, whom is a solid nerd in many fascinating ways, and won. I could not believe what was happening before my eyes. I get it. The game. Chess. WTF. Finally. BUT, I got totally owned the first 20 minutes. New beginner’s luck I guess. Probably wont ever happen again! I’m stoked anyway. Learning new skills has become a must-do-thing in my life. I usually do stuff I’m not very good at. Now I’ll go back to doing nothing (which I on the other hand got master skillz in doing). Cause nothing really is something worth doing. Love K.

Been kind of  COLD and windy in Volda lately. Gotta fix my side cut soon… !

Monkey faces. Mikael and Tonje. Last week Mikal, Johannes and I went to check out Tonje’s new crib.

Sweet kiddo in her new apartment. She’s even got saloon doors in her kitchen! HAA! By the way I totally adore the slippers.

Before everything went out of hand, and resulted in a massive blackout…

Mikael and Johannes. Me and Tonje came up with the genius idea of bringing the tequila dance down to the Rotevatnet-lake. We decided to take a bath. Naked. All of us splashing around in the dark muddy water. Luckily the night was pitch black. I’ll admit I’m a naked chicken. Fun though. Norwegian summer. Come here on vacation, and you wont miss any stiff nipples. Goose bumps all over. Unfortunately I was so drunk I forgot to take any pictures.

Confident man, Marius. In a relaxed mood. After two moves he’d already eaten one of my pawns. I actually managed to place all the 16 pieces on their right places on the square checkered board, all by myself. This new stuff, I like it.

White queen conquers all. I lost most of my staff but I knocked him down at last. WIN.

Today I woke up to this – sun shining in my bedroom window. Wohooo!

My life – rolling on a skateboard in a woolen sweater.

TUNEZ TODAY: Shphongle – Ineffable Mysteries From Shpongleland.
One of my favourite records of all time. YOU should listen closely to the entire album as a whole. Lay down, and close your eyes. Let the vibrations that travel through the air melt into your ear wax. Breathe.

H8

Faen. Apati. Ingenting. Fortsatt. Vemmes. I morgen er det innlevering. Tre måneder til jeg stikker. Det blir ikke en dag for tidlig. Håper jeg ønsker meg tilbake, for nå vil jeg bare bort, bort, bort.

 Drømmer meg. . . bort igjen. Livet, jeg både elsker og hater det.

Skinny bitch sure is walking tall, down on her bloody knees fall. Fall for the 
wrong reasons, head full of mindless conclusions. Anger and agony, confusion 
and misery.Tried so long, tried so hard. All to fail. Again. Again. History 
repeats itself. Running fugitive, just can't get ahead of  myself. Ain't 
fooling anybody but my own reflection. Self esteem waiting for a resurrection. 
Might as well, just flip a coin into the wishing well. But, do I have the 
right to vengeance? Once you were, now you're lost. You ripped me apart, faith 
in love was it's cost. Now I wait, behind the curtain of the pantomime.

LYD I DAG:
Black Rebel Motorcycle  Club – We’re all in love.

Euphoria

Pure happiness! Pure insanity. Everything. We were there, together. Our first gig at Studenthuset Rokken May 11th. It went so well. It felt so right. Finally on the right spot at the right time. Drugged on life. Ecstasy. Exuberance. VITO. The crowd was amazing. Love you guys for supporting us. Can’t wait for Wednesday to arrive. Unfortunately I don’t know if anyone took any pictures during the concert. I got a lot of them before and after. Typical.

Anyway. This is a short presentation of my (punk) rock band VITO. Our motto is to make a hell of an awesome  time for everyone who listens. Vito equals life – free spirit energy. You should check out our demos on Urørt! I’ll have to add and stress that the demos are unfinished and recorded too slow. The bass guitar is missing, and my vocals – except for one song Cake.

I’m sharing the job as lead vocalist together with Paal, an awesome curl-head playing lead guitar. Aleksander is a mystic lover boy playing rhythm guitar, often also seen behind a synthesizer. Reidar is playing the bass. Not just playing it – blasting it all over the place. Love it. I actually played bass for a little while but then took the mice instead, that because it’s awfully hard to do two things you’re not too good at – at the same time. And then we got our own real hero super Mario on drums. Red Bull, Battery, and three sets of drum sticks. -The ground foundation we all rely on.

Rehearsal at the band-room at school. Paal and Reidar.

Marioooo – happy kid always wearing a great big smile.

. . . Paal thinking of his Darkest Sins. Hihi. (We did the warm-up at their EP-release).

Reidar – as happy as a clam backstage at Rokken.

-Hello. We are Vito.

Three on a row! Aleksander, Paal and me…

Love. Alexander and his girlfriend Marita.

Euphoria and sparkling water. Reidar and Mario.

Backstage at Rokken. A lot of bands worth mentioning has used the room before us. See for yourself.

VITO.

Kristina (me) and Mario.

Nerves? No? Are you kidding me? Three years has passed since the last gig with my former metal-core band, Fake Tourists. LOL. Vito is so much greater.

“My” tambourin and our set-list.

Alexander. The look.

What the fuck just happened? A weird guy came and told us he wanted to sign us on a contract. Scam, but it was fun anyway.

Knuckles.

Marius our bitch. He was a fine gentleman driving all our equipments. HUGE fan. Haha.

Ole Henrik was utterly pleased with the concert. Great support. We all love Ole.

Livsfarlig lilla

"Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art." -Kurt Cobain.

Erfaringer, noe jeg samler på. Ikke fordi jeg vil. Fordi jeg lever.

Erfaring i bevaring i et melkeglass. Bittesmå farger svømmer i gass. Kirsebærrød og mangogul. En formet som en sommerfugl. Livsfarlig lilla, lekende lett. Sjøgrønn og himmelblå danser tett. Setter glasset inntil øret, bølgebrus. Sand mellom tærne. Savn etter rus. Evig trengsel. Alltid i et fengsel.